Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly.

When life throws you lemons you make lemonade. Yeah, cliche and a bit cartoonish but a fantastic observance. It holds true and tried...and, somehow, lingers above us waiting to make it's point. I used to groan whenever I heard that tired lesson (or is it reasoning?) in a movie or on a television show or while reading a book. It's funny when even the basic of explainations or advice turn out to be as honest and true as the colors we see in our everyday life. Yet the thing that really gets me most is when we somehow follow these trivial quotes without even realizing it.
Patrick had always wanted a family. He and his then partner Zack had bought a house and set up shop. However, things did not work out. Patrick and Zack broke up but remained friends. Patrick would move on to have a couple of kids and would search for someone to spend the rest of his life with. Enter Neil. They dated and liked each other and started the process of moving forward. However, they both discovered their differences and set out to work through them. Neither one wanted to budge. Neither one wanted to give or take or compromise through their undeniable stubbourness. I could see the possibilities there, but it all went away in a cloud of he said/he said with unneccessary moments of dramatic improv.
Patrick is on his way to purchasing Zack's half of the house they'd bought and moving on towards a domestic future with wide eyes open and a dream still searching for a place to land. Neil's caution towards life counteracted Patrick's risk-all attitude. I do have to admit, however, that whatever the future holds for Patrick that he has planned well through his nervous yet positive outlook.
I found myself becoming a part of the process of my friend building a long awaited life without becoming a part of the dramatic scenery...
In order to move forward with this entry, I will have to admit a couple of truths here.
My decision to move to the Bay Area - with the notion of moving into San Francisco sternly in my plans - was quick and unthought out. It came during a night when an unexpected moment of dramatic outburst sent my mind searching for some sort of explaination. And when the sum of my thoughts brought me to the conclusion of moving to San Francisco, I searched for reasons to help keep me in Seattle. I could not find any. So, I packed and moved and seemed to have regretted my decision. I could not find an excuse to explain my sudden and fast decision until I sat inside of a dive bar in the SOMA district and it came to me out of nowhere: my heart was broken. I listened to music that reminded me of Seattle. I thought of my friends back in Seattle. I remembered my life back in Seattle and wondered how I could correct the mistake I thought I had made.
When Patrick and Zack bought their house, they turned their basement into a 3 bedroom apartment and rented it out to friends and strangers alike. His present tenants seemed to have ignored a rule or two that he had set up. Now, Patrick can be a bit abrasive and no matter how sweetly he comes across everyone that knows him - myself included - appreciates his honesty. Needless to say, his present tenants are moving out and Patrick is wondering about future plans now that he and Neil have broken up and the house that he wanted stands now on hollow grounds. Patrick offered the apartment to me either in whole or sharing with a roommate.
I told him that I had to think about it.
And think I did. I want to go back to school and earn a degree in cinema. I want to live the outrageous lifestyle of a San Francisco resident. I want to do something with my life now that I had made such a drastic change. I want to get over my broken heart. I want to re-enter the world of sex and dating. I want to be re-introduced to my passionate and creative side. I want to re-bond with Patrick and get to know his kids. I want to keep in touch with my friends in Seattle knowing that if I returned that things probably would not be the same.
I thought about these things and more yesterday when I went to the Alameda public library to get a couple of job applications off. And it all came together...
I went home and Patrick and I sat down and talked. I will take the apartment: his rent is reasonable for the amount I'm getting from unemployment benefits and I can still re-bond with him and become an uncle to his kids. However, I told him that my sole reason for moving back to California was to move into 
San Francisco. I laid out my plans to him...
I researched schools up here and found a nice Associate's Degree program at City College of San Francisco and a Bachelor's Degree program at San Francisco State. So, I will move into the apartment but once I found a job I will stay an additional six months then move into The City. I will enroll at CCSF to earn my Associates Degree in the fall of 2011. Once I get my Associates, I will make the decision to either move back to Seattle or continue on to San Francisco State to study for my Bachelor's Degree.
There...one foot in front of the other. I will not only help myself out but I will help Patrick out who was worried about his new mortgage payments.
Last night, Patrick, the Kids and I shared a really nice evening together. We all seemed happy, and everything appears to be set in stone. Patrick loved my plans and stated that he would rather see me go back to school. However long I will be in the basement apartment will give me time to save for an apartment in San Francsico, save for school, live poorly but decently. And with the life I seem to be slowly building for myself, I think it will all come to fruition even with an obstacle or two.
Lemons turned into lemonade? Yeah, I think it is. I would try to figure out how those lemons came into my life basket, but that would probably be overthinking a bit more than I should.
Time to start drinking that lemonade...