I was surprised when he called and wanted to hang out. Things between us was pretty much left hanging to the fact that we would never see each other again - maybe in passing. But since I now lived in Alameda and he was still in Seattle then we needed not worry about bumping into one another. When he showed up I was again surprised to see him driving a car. I was impressed on both accounts. However, since this was a dream I decided not to ask any questions. I got into the car and we spent the next few hours shopping and laughing and looking at each other and talking. I wanted to know what he was doing later on that evening, as I thought it would be a good idea to make him dinner. He pulled into the Fruitvale BART station, pulled out his cellphone and called my friend Debbie. How in the fuck do they know each other? Again, I tell myself that I am in a dream and questions do not need to be asked. When Debbie answered the phone, he nearly squealed and said "This is Ebb..." which kind of shocked me because that was not his name. However, I came to the conclusion that it was a personal nickname between the two of them. They talked and made plans for the evening. He did not look over at me. He did not acknowledge me. He did not mention me. I took a deep breath. I did not hurt. I smiled and grabbed my bags, got out of the car and walked deeper into the BART station to wait for the next train...
Here I sit inside of a Starbucks. Over the past two days, I did not try to decipher the dream. Nor did I want to understand it. If there is a strong meaning to it, then that meaning would be obvious.
It is now 2012. A new year. Quite possibly the end of time, but I don't think so. A new life? Nope. I will be returning to Seattle this year, but not to an old life and not to a new life. I think I should state that a few things will be different but I do not want to label or cling to any precarious statements about my life being new or improved or changed. However, I have set in motion the realization of dreams...
About three weeks ago, someone bought and read my book on Amazon Kindle and gave me a 5-star review. This guy has made my life as he mentioned that he really enjoyed my story. I like that. It's like my cooking, if you like it then I'm happy. You don't have to love it or brag about it or even crave it.
I sent off a documentary film proposal. I've gotten one e-mail of positive feedback - I just need to see what the director of the establishment has to say about it further (as i mentioned it to him when i left seattle). This is a pet passion for me. Something I think I was born to do. I lot of planning and work and heart is ahead of me if all goes well. It's going to take every last breath out of me, yet somehow I think every minute will be worth it!
A few months ago, I had decided to stop writing fiction. I have one more project that I would like to finish and will be starting today...as soon as this entry has been posted. It will be the most autobiographical piece of fiction I've ever worked on and I am using it as a final project to complete before my return to the Pacific Northwest.
To top off everything I have just mentioned, I will be turning my camcorder on myself in a short documentary I will be filming over the next month. With this film, I am going to try some new techniques and experiment with some of the features that I haven't yet tried with iMovie. I thought about keeping a separate journal during the process of these projects, but I think I will use this blog for that via essays instead of typical journal entries.
The next few months will be crucial as I will finally realize myself and my dreams and not live by someone else's ideas or standards or wishes, wants and policies. That appears as if I'm pointing fingers at someone else regarding my life. No. I'm not doing that at all. I take responsibility for sometimes being influenced. What I mean is that I will no longer take into consideration that maybe someone else could be right about what I have, could have, should have and will have. In other words, I will write my own press and believe in it.
(to be continued in my documentary...)
Here I sit inside of a Starbucks. Over the past two days, I did not try to decipher the dream. Nor did I want to understand it. If there is a strong meaning to it, then that meaning would be obvious.
It is now 2012. A new year. Quite possibly the end of time, but I don't think so. A new life? Nope. I will be returning to Seattle this year, but not to an old life and not to a new life. I think I should state that a few things will be different but I do not want to label or cling to any precarious statements about my life being new or improved or changed. However, I have set in motion the realization of dreams...
About three weeks ago, someone bought and read my book on Amazon Kindle and gave me a 5-star review. This guy has made my life as he mentioned that he really enjoyed my story. I like that. It's like my cooking, if you like it then I'm happy. You don't have to love it or brag about it or even crave it.
I sent off a documentary film proposal. I've gotten one e-mail of positive feedback - I just need to see what the director of the establishment has to say about it further (as i mentioned it to him when i left seattle). This is a pet passion for me. Something I think I was born to do. I lot of planning and work and heart is ahead of me if all goes well. It's going to take every last breath out of me, yet somehow I think every minute will be worth it!
A few months ago, I had decided to stop writing fiction. I have one more project that I would like to finish and will be starting today...as soon as this entry has been posted. It will be the most autobiographical piece of fiction I've ever worked on and I am using it as a final project to complete before my return to the Pacific Northwest.
To top off everything I have just mentioned, I will be turning my camcorder on myself in a short documentary I will be filming over the next month. With this film, I am going to try some new techniques and experiment with some of the features that I haven't yet tried with iMovie. I thought about keeping a separate journal during the process of these projects, but I think I will use this blog for that via essays instead of typical journal entries.
The next few months will be crucial as I will finally realize myself and my dreams and not live by someone else's ideas or standards or wishes, wants and policies. That appears as if I'm pointing fingers at someone else regarding my life. No. I'm not doing that at all. I take responsibility for sometimes being influenced. What I mean is that I will no longer take into consideration that maybe someone else could be right about what I have, could have, should have and will have. In other words, I will write my own press and believe in it.
(to be continued in my documentary...)
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